No to Stigma

Please read the story on the link below

http://bepositive-ph.tumblr.com/post/6552688352/stories-of-stigma-keith

Crossing the Bridge

I thought it was going to be difficult - telling my bestfriend about my HIV status. I did it this morning, at Banchetto, over bottled water, with the smell of pork barbecue wafting through the air.


Nobody knows about my HIV status other than my immediate family and my company's HR Director. I never felt the need to disclose to any of my friends or co-workers. I am living a productive, contented life. I have my family for emotional support and my ARV meds and treatment hub doctors for medical support.


So why tell my bestfriend?


I honestly do not know the answer.


We have been friends since we were little girls (hehehe) - classmates from grade school through high school. He went green in college. I went maroon. We saw little of each other during college and kept in touch occasionally (this was way back when cellphones were non-existent - for the common tao, at least).

A few years after graduation, he left for Singapore. I'd see him when I go to SG or whenever he comes back home for a vacation.


When we do see each other, we'd be spending hours together laughing about remembered shared funny moments in our lives, talking about non-essential stuff we've been through the times we were not together and dropping little tidbits of personal matters here and there.

He came back earlier this year to pursue his passion for culinary arts. He is taking a one year certification course in, well, cooking something and baking something.

I knew right away that I had to tell him.


That opportunity came this morning.


And it was easy.


People were all around us so I had to use my phone and wrote "I am HIV+" and showed him.


He hugged me - two straight acting gay guys hugging in public - I wish I could have seen us!


We talked about it more in the next hour or so.


I don't intend to tell any of my other friends about my status. I don't need to.


I have my bestfriend by my side.



And he is enough.

Meet Up

Met some pozzies early last week over coffee.

It was my first time to meet with pozzies in a public setting. I was actually ambushed into it but it turned out fun.

We were at the coffee place for well over three hours but it didn't feel that long. As I said it was fun - just sharing stories, seeing these people cracking jokes and exchanging wise-cracks at the expense of one another. Hearing about stories of other pozzies from their treatment hub.

I don't really socialize with other pozzies from my hub. Not that I do not want to. It's just that I feel like they have a different world from mine. Also, when I go to my treatment hub to get my refill of meds, I usually stay in one corner, observing the other pozzies and waiting for my turn. If I see someone I know, I'd give a nod and a smile and that's it.

But these guys from the other treatment hub were so much fun to be with. Maybe because it was ok to slip once in a while about your status without fear of discrimation or not being understood. As I said, it was my first time to socialize with fellow pozzies, so I had reservations. But after a while, I felt at home in their company. I felt normal!

I am glad that I came that evening. Sometimes, it pays to tread the path less taken, to see things with new a set of eyes. I am hoping to see them again one of these days.

World's AIDS Day - the Yoga For Life Way

December 2008. It was the first World's AIDS Day that I attended. And I swore that it was going to be my last...

Fast forward November 2010. The day before December 1 (Tuesday), I texted our yogi and asked whether it was OK for me to do yoga practice the day before my CD4 extraction. He said it was.

I was actually trying to make an excuse not to attend another World AIDS Day event.

On December 1, I was called to an emergency meeting scheduled for 6PM. Normally, I would have made a fuss about the timing but I accepted the meeting invite without second thoughts.

I was actually trying to make an excuse not to attend another World AIDS Day event.

Later that day, the meeting was re-scheduled for 4:30PM and finished a few minutes past 6PM. I left the office quarter past 6. I was expecting to reach Ortigas from Ayala way past 7pm as usually happens.

I was actually trying to make an excuse not to attend another World AIDS Day event.

Lo and behold! No traffic along EDSA! And I made it to Ortigas quarter before 7!

I could not make any more excuse to attend another World AIDS Day event!

And I am glad that all my excuses came to naught.

Filipinos have a saying: "wag kang magsalita ng tapos". And this was proven on the second World AIDS Day that I attended.

I was more than happy that I came. Aside from actually disclosing my "kapusitan", the Yoga for Life activity for WAD gave me a more positive (no pun intended) experience of this event.

One of the things that stuck with me about that evening were the words: "times are changing". And indeed they are.

Gone are the days when WAD is about death and suffering.

What struck me most was that during that WAD celebration, we were actually doing that - CELEBRATING!

Celebrating our own lives - whether positive or negative. Celebrating the lives of those who have gone on ahead of us by living our lives as healthy as they wished they could have had they been given the same chance that we PLWHA are being given now.

I do not regret disclosing my HIV status during that YFL session. It was a step for me in finally accepting my status not just in my mind and heart but in my words as well.

Times are changing indeed.