The Prodigal Ant is Back...

It has been more than a month since my last update - or at least a semblance of an update.

The ant has been busy - and uninspired (or just plain lazy) - for the past weeks. Besides that, nothing eventful really happened.

Well, I did have my birthday last month but even that was not so note-worthy. I started out planning to go out bowling with the family but last minute changes and a sick nephew prevented us from pushing through with it and my parents and I ended up eating out in a mall.

I haven't been going to yoga sessions for well over a month, I guess, and I am starting to feel the weight coming back and the lethargy setting in. I really, really need to get back to working out. Though I've really been taking it slow for quite some time now as I have been beginning to notice asthma attack precursors showing up - due mainly to weather changes and work-related stress.

Speaking of work, it hasn't been rosy at the work place either. I had to make major man-power decisions and is looking at making another this week. All these aside from the numerous reports, process monitoring, performance evaluation, training development & implementation and other non-work-essential-but-work-related projects.

On the flip side, though, I have gained some headway on my comic collection - what with the recent opening of a local online comic book store. Truly, a boon from the gods - and a bane to my savings account!

Which is actually why I am sitting on the fence with regards to moving on and quitting my job at this point. No job at this time means no extra money for X-Men, Ultimates, Justice League and Birds of Prey. Sigh - the things one has to consider to make life more interesting.

And in a few more days, Christmas will be upon us - and the SMAP, or Samahang Malaming ang Pasko (which I am currently the Mother Superior of), will have its annual retreat. Oh, how I would love to not be a member of this group this year! Any takers?

So, I've pretty much covered updating the more important aspects of my life on this post.

Hopefully, something good and exciting is brewing up just around the corner for the next few days or weeks before we finally say goodbye to 2011 and say hello to 2012.

So, the Ant is back... for now...

World's AIDS Day - the Yoga For Life Way

December 2008. It was the first World's AIDS Day that I attended. And I swore that it was going to be my last...

Fast forward November 2010. The day before December 1 (Tuesday), I texted our yogi and asked whether it was OK for me to do yoga practice the day before my CD4 extraction. He said it was.

I was actually trying to make an excuse not to attend another World AIDS Day event.

On December 1, I was called to an emergency meeting scheduled for 6PM. Normally, I would have made a fuss about the timing but I accepted the meeting invite without second thoughts.

I was actually trying to make an excuse not to attend another World AIDS Day event.

Later that day, the meeting was re-scheduled for 4:30PM and finished a few minutes past 6PM. I left the office quarter past 6. I was expecting to reach Ortigas from Ayala way past 7pm as usually happens.

I was actually trying to make an excuse not to attend another World AIDS Day event.

Lo and behold! No traffic along EDSA! And I made it to Ortigas quarter before 7!

I could not make any more excuse to attend another World AIDS Day event!

And I am glad that all my excuses came to naught.

Filipinos have a saying: "wag kang magsalita ng tapos". And this was proven on the second World AIDS Day that I attended.

I was more than happy that I came. Aside from actually disclosing my "kapusitan", the Yoga for Life activity for WAD gave me a more positive (no pun intended) experience of this event.

One of the things that stuck with me about that evening were the words: "times are changing". And indeed they are.

Gone are the days when WAD is about death and suffering.

What struck me most was that during that WAD celebration, we were actually doing that - CELEBRATING!

Celebrating our own lives - whether positive or negative. Celebrating the lives of those who have gone on ahead of us by living our lives as healthy as they wished they could have had they been given the same chance that we PLWHA are being given now.

I do not regret disclosing my HIV status during that YFL session. It was a step for me in finally accepting my status not just in my mind and heart but in my words as well.

Times are changing indeed.

Weight Gain

I am gaining weight.

After going through body wasting a few years back, you would think I would be happy knowing that I am gaining weight. But, honestly, I am not happy at all.

I need to control my weight. My last cholesterol and triglyceride results show borderline values - side-effects of my ARVs.

Fat distribution is also a problem. I'm shaped like a pear standing on two sticks right now.

I really should take my Yoga for Life practice seriously. I already missed two weeks of yoga practice because of work. And speaking of work, it doesn't help that I have been rendering 4 - 5 hours of overtime each day for the past three to four weeks.

Quiet Space

Finally had the chance to attend my first Yoga for Life session last Wednesday evening.

After a stressful day at work, I was really looking forward to the yoga session that evening. I left the office at 6pm and took the company shuttle from Ayala to Ortigas. We got to Ortigas at quarter to seven, so I decided to drop by a 7-11 store near our Ortigas building. I was only supposed to buy an energy drink which I take when I feel dehydrated but I ended up buying a banana as well. I wasn't really hungry at that time but I thought, "laman tyan din hanggang makapag-dinner". And I was to take my meds at eight pm so I didn't want to take my ARV on an empty stomach.

So there I was walking on the street, bitting on a banana and thinking: "ano kaya nangyayari sa yoga class?" Yes, it was going to be my first yoga session in my entire life, and I was excited!

I got to the room just as the session was about to start so I had to change clothes as fast as I can. I took the farthest mat from the front and listened as the yogi and the yogini addressed the class and welcomed us first timers.

The whole session lasted for almost two hours (I think). I completely lost track of time (good thing, we ended on time, though as I had a "date" afterwards). It was good. For the first time in so many months, I actually felt good sweat (not sweat from heat) running down my body. I felt my entire body was happy. It was tired, yes, but happy nonetheless. I felt that my body had been calling out for this kind of activity for the longest time and it felt gooooooood to finally give in.

What was more important, though, was that I found my quiet place again in the midst of the session. I found a way back to my forest where I can meet once more my naiads and sprites. I found my way back to my well where I can get refreshment. I found my pool again where I can cleanse my spirit.

So, I thank the universe for leading me back. I thank the people who were instrumental to this homecoming. And I thank my myself for taking the most important first step to re-discovery.

I can still feel the tiny aches in some parts of my body as it becomes re-acquianted with itself. But it's all worth it. I will dip in the pool every chance I get. I will commune with life every opportunity I am handed.